What is Self Care?

By: KatinkaD

Snoopy by Charles Shultz

Everyone has their own way of managing the stressors of everyday life. In my sessions with clients and having worked in the community for many years, I cannot stress enough the importance of self care. Have you heard of the saying “you cannot pour from an empty cup?” This is something that I say a lot and often remind myself of. I use it as a reminder that I cannot be there for my family, I cannot be present for my clients, I cannot be my bestest self if I am not in a good place.

In this post, I would like to start a conversation about what self care means for myself and others. I would like to share with you some of the ways that I, and close personal people in my life, engage in self care. I would also like to invite you to share your own thoughts and tips regarding self care.

Any activity that allows and makes you feel good about yourself can be considered self care. When I say activity, that is exactly what I mean. It can be anything. Self Care is so important in order to help manage the stressors in everyday life regardless of what the stressors may be. My husband shared with me that for him self-care is any activity where he does not have to think. Another guy that I spoke with shared similar thoughts about self care. For my sister, it is going to the gym. My mother-in-law self-care is cooking or baking.

When I have searched on Pinterest or Google ideas for self-care, the images that usually pop-up are images of a warm bath with bubbles, a book, and a glass of wine. Images of sitting by a fire in a comfy chair while reading a book, or sitting on a beach staring out at the calm waves while watching the sunset, or even meditating while sitting on the floor surrounded by a salt lamp and some plants. These are good ideas however the reality is that not everyone has a beach in their back yard or front yard. Not everyone enjoys the calm sound of waves. I personally enjoy the sound of waves violently crashing against the rocks. I also do not like to drink wine or sitting on the floor although that is more because of all the Corgi glitter that is constantly decorating the floors of my home no matter how often we clean after them.

If you are not already engaging in Self Care or have not established a routine, that is okay! It’s all about baby steps. Start out small with maybe 5-10 minutes a day of engaging something that is only for you. Whether you treat yourself to some fancy coffee, tea, or treats, or treat yourself to a small indulgence like a piece of chocolate (I like See’s Candies).

For some, self-care can be a grounding technique as we sometimes tend to get lost in our thoughts or fret about the neverending To-Do lists of our lives. There are so many activities you can do at home that can help with grounding. The piece to remember is that some activities engage our different senses and we tend to gravitate towards some senses more than others. You just figure out what works for you

Aside from the ideas previously shared that Pinterest and Google so graciously shared with me are things like cooking or baking, cleaning, art activities like painting or drawing, outdoor activities like hiking or fishing, playing boardgames virtually or with friends in-person, video games, listening to music, gardening indoors or outdoors or both is you have the space. Photography is an activity that can also be done both indoors and outdoors, solo or with others.

And lastly, tips to encourage ongoing use of self care in your daily life.

It is okay to engage in small doses of self-care on your breaks while working or at home. Sometimes we need 5-10 minutes to read a chapter or watch a video. 10-15 minutes to go for a small walk and stretch our muscles or help process thoughts that may have either been triggered by our own stressors or we may be having trouble figuring out. We can also create a routine that can help with keeping things separate like rocking out while in traffic so when we get home we can be fully present for ourselves and our loved ones. One of my close friends from the military would always shower and change into pajamas as soon as she got home from work everyday. It is important to remember that everyone has their own ideas of what self-care is and/or what it should look like. Give different things a try and see what works for you. Slowly, you will develop your self-care routine.